As Anais Nin, the novelist, writes, “We do not see things as they are—we see things as we are.” I could not agree more! Here’s why.
This past November I had a cold virus that kept me home for more than two weeks, and what I found myself doing more than ever was thinking, or more precisely overthinking. The problem: My thinking was far more toxic than it was constructive. We’re talking unhealthy thinking—the polluted kind—the kind that has you getting in your own way and staying stuck there. Let’s put it this way, it wasn’t pretty. Stewing and ruminating is never pretty—in fact, it’s paralyzing!
No doubt we’ve all experienced this. When we are physically compromised, we tend to become emotionally compromised as well, reinforcing our sacred mind-body connection.
Now back to my virus. At about the two-week point I sat down in front of the computer, almost immediately finding myself in a flow state of writing. It was as if something big needed to be expressed—and was begging to emerge. And it did, in an extensive body of work.
The title of this work, Confessions of a Thinkaholic, evolved subconsciously from a place deep within. And the content, well, it just poured out of me. It began with me proclaiming and confessing my addiction to thinkaholism—which I define as an addiction to overthinking.
This is how my confession began: “Although I have known this for years, I have not been able to publicly acknowledge my addiction until now. I am a thinkaholic. I am also a great storyteller—but I’m completely addicted to my stories.”
I came to the ultimate realization that I am the cause of much of my suffering—I suffer because of my self-created stories. I have stories around my health, my family, my relationships, my career and its success, my feeling of safety, my worthiness, my level of happiness, and many more.
In that moment sitting at my computer, I decided that it was time for me to review the evolution of my stories—to look back over every single chapter of my life in order to define when and perhaps even why specific storylines developed. I moved from adolescence through to marriage, parenthood, my mother’s passing, and through other challenging chapters to find every possible narrative—every lousy story—every unhealthy script that I ever wrote.
This deep inner work allowed me to confront the truth of my false beliefs systems, faulty assumptions, distorted filters, skewed mindsets, and narrow perspectives—defining the common threads of my discontent.
I found underlying themes and patterns around insecurity, shame, mistrust, unworthiness, even health and safety threats that fed into and weaved across my unhealthy storylines in order to create the truly dysfunctional stories that were controlling my life.
I also assessed how my beliefs, assumptions, and filters changed over time. I observed how some of my stories had been self-edited over the years, while others had vanished completely and been replaced by newer and healthier ones. Furthermore, I was able to acknowledge my inability to replace some very deeply ingrained and subconsciously driven toxic stories. It seems I was hooked and held hostage by them.
Confronting the truth can be painful for us (as it’s eye-opening and thus challenging) but it can also be very self-motivating. Knowing that I had several storylines that were preventing me from accessing my higher self, from playing big and realizing my true potential, I aspired to learn all that I could about how to better manage and re-write my stories.
No matter what the surface issue—depression, anxiety, obsessive thinking, or chronic stress—the ultimate work is always about confronting the underlying, deeply embedded, and oftentimes false beliefs, filters, assumptions, and perspectives that make up the unhealthy stories we repeat over and over again—allowing them to HIJACK OUR LIVES!
We really don’t see things as they are—but as we are!
I encourage you to join me in my most recent workshop, where I share my findings and current research with you. The workshop is entitled, “Thinkaholism: Are you addicted to your stories?”
In this workshop, I delve into the power of story and help you to uncover the root causes of your suffering.
- I will coach you on how to challenge your limiting core beliefs, master your self-talk, manage your emotions, choose better lifestyle habits, and nurture your natural antidepressants.
- I will help you let go of your old stories that are not serving you well and help you replace them with healthier ones.
- I will not only show you how to rewrite your stories, but also how to install them using the power of neuroplasticity.
Together these strategies, which are a blend of both science and psychology, can be the antidote we are all in search of to rid ourselves of our harmful stories.
This past month, I shared this powerful new workshop in a family group-coaching format and the content was very well received. I have since learned that there has been a significant shift in the family dynamic and for the better.
Let’s commit to change by overcoming our addiction to overthinking life and our attachment to our harmful stories.
Let’s eliminate our inner struggle and move towards what we all want: inner peace, purpose, and progress.
Let’s take back our power and learn how to disrupt the cycle of thinkaholism.
Let’s click unsubscribe to our lousy stories.
Let’s do it together!